Dearborn by Ghassan Zeineddine

Author:Ghassan Zeineddine
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Tin House Books
Published: 2023-07-27T00:00:00+00:00

ZIZOU PERUSED JOB OPENINGS in the local paper. At university he had studied business because that’s what his parents had insisted he major in. He’d graduated with average marks, knowing he wasn’t a businessman. He was a writer, damn it!

Zizou knew he could find a menial job that would pay the bills and give him time to work on his novel, but was his novel worth continuing? Was his suffering worth it? He only felt purpose in his life when he was writing, not that he ever thought his writing could change the world. When his writing was going well, when he was in a hallucinatory trance and the words kept coming, he saw himself giving readings at bookstores before packed audiences, taking TV and radio interviews, and accepting a slew of literary awards. And even when his writing was going poorly, souring his mood, he understood this was part of the process and that he’d have to write his way through crushing self-doubt. If he eliminated writing from his life, he feared he’d lose his soul.

Zizou had enough savings to last him a few months without work, and as time passed, that money became his lifeline. He stayed home, in a sweat suit, unable to write, barely eating, watching TV. He stopped bothering to shave and showered only occasionally. He didn’t leave except to buy groceries, and at night he kept the window blinds closed. His mother called one afternoon.

“How’s the book going?” she asked.

Zizou felt a stab to his heart. He was filled with shame. “It’s going.”

“Ya Allah, when will you give me a different answer? When will I see your gorgeous face on a billboard?”

“I have to sleep before my shift. Bye.”

If his parents discovered that he’d been fired, he knew they’d lose what little faith left they had in him. Fareed would call him a fuckup.

Weeks later, in the early hours of the morning and with only the glare of the TV for light, Zizou was about to fall asleep on his futon couch when a commercial came on advertising an audio version of the King James Bible read by James Earl Jones. “Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God,” James Earl Jones said in his deep and resonant voice. Zizou sat up, his eyes focused on the screen. He associated the actor’s voice with Darth Vader from Star Wars, but now, listening to him perform the Bible, he thought James Earl Jones was speaking directly to him, trying to ease his worries. Not since being forced to attend Qur’an classes every Saturday morning at the mosque as a boy had Zizou prayed. Islam had been a part of his parents’ and brother’s lives, not his own. His religion was fantasy literature, his prophet J. R. R. Tolkien. But a magnetic aura was in the air. Something important, he believed, was about to happen to him.

Zizou ordered the digitally remastered Bible read by James Earl Jones.

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